Golden Compass – C

As good as Enchanted had me feeling, I was looking forward to the Golden Compass more. My friend Rich recommended this trilogy to me last spring when I saw him, and he never misses. His review is outstanding, and I hope I can imitate. Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials Trilogy accompanied me on my cross country road trip this summer. I had a hard time taking in the sites of certain states because this book was that good. Instead of the movie poster, I’ve put the book cover, because I believe a damaging blow has been put on the trilogy.

Writer/Director Chris Weitz replaced the decorated Tom Stoppard for this coveted position. Stoppard wouldn’t have directed, but the script he submitted was rejected by New Line and the result is a disaster. Weitz’s lone work I liked was About A Boy so I thought there was a chance he might be on the rise to greatness.

Boy was I wrong, Weitz gets the main plot, but leaves out intricate details that has become expected in book adaptations. The missing scenes became egregious when he cut to black, rather than showing the beautiful climax of the book, IT’S ENDING. Lord Asriel played by Daniel Craig slays Lyra’s friend and a parallel universe is opened! It’s a beautiful moment that is traded for some soppy sentimental crap that Pullman never wrote.

The wasted cast is probably 2nd on my list of things gone wrong. Christopher Lee and Daniel Craig appear as mere cameos, rather than the important characters who give depth. Kidman does a fine job, and the casting director should be proud, as well as peeved. I couldn’t have asked for a better Lyra. Dakota Blue Richards nails the role, capturing both the sweet side and rugged of a well written character. Lyra immediately will remind all you Harry Potter fans that protagonists can be much more active and even badass, rather than whiny (sorry Radcliffe you suck).

Missing story lines run rampant, if you haven’t read the book you are going to wonder why so many things are introduced and then slipped under the rug. Characters like Eva Green’s Serafina Pekkala are lacking any sort of depth and are proved useless.

What I did like…Sir Ian McKellen and Sam Elliot as the tandem of Iorek Byrnison and Lee Scornsby are thankfully too good for Weitz to mess up. The bear fight will be everyone’s favorite part of the film, and the voice of Ian couldn’t better fit that of an armored bear. Elliot might be less recognizable, but he’s a stellar aide to his buddy Iorek. His “last of the ol’ West” voice is also a perfect fit.

I’m sad guys, I didn’t want to have to write this review but it had to be done. I’m intrigued how the second movie will start, because it didn’t end properly in the first. It’s a crapfest. I said it, crap fest. I wish it were about an hour longer and written by Stoppard…For now, I leave you with my aspirations for better…There Will Be Blood!